Category Archives: Love.

Sigh…

Small hours

Quiet long inhale
Small irregular exhale
The heat of breath against my skin
In the small hours
Twitching fingers
Hands, thighs, everything,
Heavy with ease
Unencumbered by appearances
I am awake
You are asleep
Still
Careful not to wake you
Drinking in this touch
When you did not set out to touch.

Amarepoeta

To the poem I never wrote…

Hi,
I miss you.
I know that may mean nothing to you now, but like much of our relationship, this is about me and not you.

Are you well?
I know you are. I see you everywhere.
I look for you everywhere.
Sometimes when I’m mindlessly scrolling, there you are.

I don’t want to bother you.
I know that I can only remind you, of what we had. The real truth is that I want what we almost had, romantic speak for what we never had but you somehow found.

Do you remember?
I know you don’t want to, but you must. So that in nostalgia, I can make you hurt, if but a fraction of how I feel. This is easier than accepting responsibility and leave you well enough alone to live your best life.

Think of me.
I know you won’t but I hope I have convinced you enough to haunt you. Your life is amazing now, and if I cross your mind then maybe I can have a sliver of that amazingness.

You were right.
I know that now. Only in so far as saying that will validate you. And allow me to use it as a crutch should you come back. And I revert to default.

I was not ready for you.
I know that I was ready get you but not for the responsibility and the vulnerability it would take to stay with you. You are right to move on.

I’m sorry.
I know you. I know me. You have made it so I can write again. Not the way I wrote you. In the way that poem chooses to be written.

The Doppelganger.

A sleeping child…

9.30 pm

in my arms,

her right eye is slightly open, 

left completely closed. 

she is heavy in my arms, 

fingers still wrapped around my finger. 

For these small moments, 

I hold on, holding her, 

Close to my heart, 

For longer than I should,


Where she is mine, 

In my womb once again, 

Kicking, turning and sleeping as she is now. 

She is with me, 

And I with her. 

No pangs of guilt in the matatu on the way to work, 

No question of whether I am raising her right, 

No inkling of her growth and independence, 

Apart and away from me. 

I place her softly in her bed, 

Careful to have her warm and safe, 

And think back to the soft embrace of my mother’s own womb. 

I, like my child cannot return to the cradle of the womb, 

How terrible, 

And yet…  How liberating. 

A kiss on her forehead, 

And one for each cheek,

I turn off the lights and leave her be. 

Amarepoeta

 

I will have you.

in a noisy matatu moving fast into the CBD,

Oblivious to the chaos as I think of you, I will have you,

hands entwined as we sip tea on a balcony,

Looking in each other’s smiling eyes, I will have you,

talking about twitter hash tags,

And planting 310 seeds, I will have you,

when Nairobi lights bathe us in soft light,

On the ride home, I will have you,

while you are in the shower,

And I slip into a nightie, I will have you,

nestled in the embrace of my hands and bosom,

And you make your home between my limbs, I will have you,

satiated and drifting into peaceful sleep,

Dreaming of your secret things, I will have you,

in the morning as you stretch and yawn,

Seeing me next to you, I will have you,

with me.

Black Widow

24 hours

It is a sunny, picturesque weekday afternoon,

The music in the air is that of the printer and ringing phones,

On the notification bar of her phone,

A simple sentence in the Subject, Verb, Object structure,

Complete with an exclamation mark, indicative of strong feeling,

“I love you!”

She is supposed to be working but she cannot? Will not?

The night is like that of the Starry night,

A night for shapes to embrace each other on a high balcony,

To see herself as one of those shapes,

As beautiful as the mythological exaggerations of a goddess,

Fitting like a jigsaw piece into the crook of his arm,

Pacified in regal repose…

She adjusts her coat and walks on towards home.

The morning comes dull and drizzling,

The house is clean, the food waiting, her dress his favorite color,

Transfixed by the sound of tires on the gravel outside,

It is there he will get a reply to his text message,

There, as she watches his shape walking towards the door,

Will she see the embers alight in the ashes of longing…?

Which by definition; is a persistent, often wistful or melancholy desire!

Black Widow

DEAR LOVE

I hope this letter finds you well,

It has been many days and many nights gone,

The days have been sufficiently long.

As the nights have been short,

I have so much to write,

Yet so little ink!

 

Tragedy is doing quite well,

She graduated with first class honors,

You always said she would make an impression,

And indeed she left an indelible one,

She continues to sulk about though,

Your departure has taken its toll on her.

 

Sister Greed has added on an unmentionable number of kilos,

Your Mother is afraid she will outgrow her skin one day…

Last week, at my birthday,

She ate the whole darn cake! Again!

I forgave her as usual,

You know it is very hard to resist her big charms.

 

This letter will not be complete,

Not without Lust’s latest antics,

Her latest conquest is quite a young thing,

The poor dear has no clue what is going on!

She still wears your dress when it suits her,

But I fear her wardrobe is bordering on non-existent!

 

Our daughter Poetry is growing fast,

She is dating an overly expressive boy,

He reminds me of myself before I met you!

Being with her everyday is a living reminder of you,

Though it would be much better if you would return,

She misses you and speaks of you often.

 

I miss you terribly,

I find it hard to cope without you,

To revel in the lunacy that reminds me of you,

It seems that on your departure,

You carried with you my insanity,

I am now forced remain trapped here with your family.

 

Until I see you again my Love.

 AmarePoeta

BLACK ROSE

I will wait for you,

At the foot of the Black Rose,

Oblivious to,

The activities governed,

By Selene and Helios

 

Your oath chose Black rose,

Haven of our odyssey!

Its serenity,

Is an asylum from all,

And an enigma to all

 

With sweet ambrosia,

And choice delights of days old,

Our minds shall carry,

The pleasant haunts of a soul,

Aflight from machination

 

Amare Poeta

MY FAVORITE SONG

You are like my favorite song,

I don’t have you on my playlist,

And you are not the first song I play,

But every time I scroll down,

It’s enough to see you there.

 

A while back, my phone died on me,

It just wouldn’t start up,

I might have thought of the contacts that I had lost,

Or the inconvenience of being without a phone,

But what hurt the most was losing you in there.

 

So I saved you in my computer at work,

On my other phone and my sister’s ,

I could almost hear you on the iPod I cannot afford to buy,

And I picture myself listening to you on Monster pro Beats by Dre,

I also have you saved on my email account. Just in case!

 

I always switch to shuffle,

That way I can pretend to be surprised when you start to play,

Then I turn the volume all the way up,

And wait for the beat to kick in,

When that beat starts I smile and sing along to you.

 

And when I go days without hearing you,

I put on the radio,

And there you are,

When you stop playing, I stop everything,

To go someplace quiet and listen to you again.

 

Amare Poeta

Dear Daddy

My first memory,

Looking at you high up there,

Was bliss to behold.

Amare Poeta

Secret

A blind man will be,

The sole witness to secrets,

I told the deaf man.

 

Amare Poeta