Category Archives: Encouragement.

“You is Kind, You is Smart, You is Important”, The Help (2011).


Do the thankless work
That no one will acknowledge
Lest you burn out from constantly performing for their attention.

Do the necessary work
That no one will see
Lest you forget your inherent value.

Do the unglamorous work
That no one will praise
Lest you lose yourself to seeking approval.

Do the dirty work
That everyone avoids
Lest you unleash your bile on others.

Do the messy work
That no one will see
Lest you lose your pearl and be a discarded shell.

Do the hard work
That no one truly wants to do
Lest you lay blame without cause.

Do the necessary work
That no one bothers to do
Lest you lose your will and get tossed about.

Do the silent work
That no one will hear
Lest you are left hoarse from shouting into nothingness.

Do the work you think is beneath you
That no one will let you forget
Lest you forget the contributions that allow you to live as you do.

Do the uncharacteristic work
That no one can point to
Lest you trade your individuality for conditional acceptance.

Do the inner work
That no one can take from you
Lest you rest precariously on the brittle foundations of vanity.

Do the outer work
That no one else can do for you
Lest you forget your agency to thrive.


Welcome back to your mat. :D

The holidays were lit! A good one FYI. From near and far we are back for 2019.  Happy new year. From stage left, enter Indulgence and Holiday spirit. #ifyouknowyouknow.  

Early last year, I began taking steps to a healthier lifestyle. To me, that means improving my practice on the mat, healthier eating habits and more recently healthier self talk. None of which I have 100% stuck to so far. I am discovering a few things that are/have helped me, and hopefully you, get and stay on track. 

So, I haven’t touched my mat since I left Nairobi for the holidays. I carried it with me but it did not see the outside of the mat bag. Every day, I would see it and think, “Really?” Anyway the added benefit of having a toddler means there is plenty of running around. That, for me, was a convenient excuse to not practice. In the end I was judging myself. Not fun. Added impact, no actual practice. I am happy I carried it. Unfortunately, I did not get serious in making the time or effort to practice. Facts are facts. Enter stage right, 30 day Ab challenge.

Last year, I linked up with a Nutrition and Health coach to get started. It was awesome. Sharon from Simple Nutrition came home looked at my eating habits and that of my family and made recommendations. By the time I was making this decision, I had made peace with all the delicious “sacrifices” I had to make. It turned out that wasn’t the case, and though I started out with a disempowering thought, I am happy to say I have been making great progress. That wasn’t the only disempowering idea I had for myself. Food is a big part of my identity and I started to see the connection of my lack of commitment to the emotional weight I place on the actual eating and the ritual of eating itself. It’s amazing what happens when you are a yes something. Salads are #everything. Have fun with them. Just remember to mix it in a bigger bowl than you think. Seriously!

Herein lies the great comedic tragedy of life. What you say creates your world! How you talk about your resolutions, goals, husband, wife, child, body and all other things under the sun is exactly what comes to pass. Without being awake to it, I had been saying a lot of terrible things to myself. I use ‘terrible’ here on purpose. Those small , albeit unsubstantiated cracks about myself were the seeds of being unable to create change in that particular area. “I don’t have a core.” Check out during core sequence and wonder why I don’t have abs! Genius , right?!  Or this one… “If I say what I really feel, they’ll think I am needy. ” So say nothing until one day, you cant help not speaking and lo and behold, “Aki she is needy!“ I agree with the thought that overexposure to something can dull the senses to it. “The tongue has the power of life and death… ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭18:21‬ ‭NIV‬‬. You have probably heard this so many times that you may not be awake to what it really means. Read that again… “The tongue has the power of life and death… ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭18:21‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Gloria Steinem famously said, ‘The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn.’  In our context here, resolution or no, consider what it is you must learn and what you must unlearn to uncover your best self. And when the thoughts and habits that limit you come… Do like Baron Baptiste says in his book, Perfectly Imperfect, and #Beginagain

See you when I see you.


The Alleged Yogi.

I had the Monday Blues today…

Real friends… That always helps. Live a little. Not too much, not at all but a little 😀



I cannot believe how irritable I can get sometimes! I’m not good with spending; pulling out money to buy honey cornflakes which I know will come in handy when I can’t step out for lunch can set me off. And I think that’s what happened earlier this afternoon. I decided to put up a status update on Facebook indicating that I am pissed off because I need to get over myself before locking the office door and taking a few minutes to soak in Sam Smith. Then I got a call.

One of my closest friends – made sometime this year – called to update me on the progress he had made on a hurdle he was tackling. He has been hitting a brick wall in a vital personal project and this weekend the sun broke through his clouds. We took forty minutes to talk and laugh and sigh and…

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The joy of my life can be wrapped up in 3 names… ok 4 in a few months

Joshua, Lucy, Linda and my latest surprise.

Yes, it is motherhood has filled my life,

Validated me among the mocking sideways glances,

Where I am considered little more than a maid, little less than a person!

Being a mother has meant life itself to me,

And so while I sat nursing Linda at the east balcony,

Contemplating throwing her small body off the side,

Thinking how quick and painless it would be,

How her small body would give up quickly and the constant crying and fidgeting would stop.

I called my sister up to give her a bath,

And I did not touch her for another 3 months.

When I did, I remembered that I was a mother,

I am a mother.

I am her mother.

My husband, of course didn’t notice,

As far as he is concerned he is concerned,

I know nothing of a rent controlled house on Thika road,

Whose occupant has an unsavory taste for cheap roadside lip gloss…

And weaves that are 100% human hair on the pack but 100% riveroad chuom on the inside!

His little whores are welcome distractions,

His new money has directed old tempers towards them,

And gives me more time without a black eye, without a sleepless night,

Without creeping around the house at night for some brandy to calm my nerves…

I no longer have to make up stories for the children so they never really know their father!

Of course he can’t be bothered to take a deeper interest in me,

For so long as a delicious supper is ready by 8pm,

Family time during the 9pm news

An all too revealing piece of lingerie is on by 10pm,

He won’t find out about my farm and my desire to be someone.

I envy the women out there,

Their ignorance shelters them from the reality of being the ‘Typical African Housewife’,

It’s not all kitchens, kids, chamas and hubbies,

It’s not all contented smiles and smiling family photos.

Sometimes it’s dying a little everyday so that everyone else can live a little every day…

My will is fueled only by the purity of the love I have for my family,

My children see me worthy, and within the confines of my home,

I am the law. I am a colossus. And that is not a democracy.

My husband is the envy of his friends and partners,

Why? Because of me!

My children are behaved and well rounded,

Why? Because of me!

My home is the kind of place you come to find solace.

Why? Because of me!

And they have a wealth of life and love.

Why? Because of me!



Power is a misunderstood phenomenon,
Whose face rarely belongs to the one who weilds it,
She is the buxom temptress,
In whose harem abides intoxicating pleasures,
And her doors are governed by the eunuch.

The Eunuch moves unseen with the ear of the ruler,
His slight nod sets the day in motion;
It is his furrowed brow that wakes the kings compassion,
His nonchalant shrug that stays the next appointment,
His unassuming demeanor, that makes him privy to the secrets of the state.

In the silent times,
When sounds of merrymaking,
Come over the heavy ornamented doors,
Power retreats to her chambers,
And entrusts the key to the eunuch.

Black Widow


What is death but absence made apparent?
What is pain but a lesson in effort?

She looked through the glass,
His face calm, dreamy and a little chubby.
We forgot his specs, somehow that bothered her.

There was lot’s to do,
The hair, the nails and of course the dress,
He liked to dress up.
And she liked to dress up for him.

A cherry brown suit,
Matching shoes and belt,
A cream tie lay perfectly still on his chest,
Over a crisp, well ironed white shirt.

She was partial to silver,
He considered nothing but gold,
But on a day like today,
Her wrist, ears, tips and toes would say gold.

There are too many people,
Thanks to his popularity,
Too many long hugs,
Relative, friends  and people whose names were too many to remember.

As the ceremony began, She catwalked the agreed route, flowers in hand,
Thinking all the while what the future would be like,
Her eyes glistening, she smiled for a split second at her best friend,
And blew her last kiss.

What is death but absence made apparent?
What is pain but a lesson in effort?


Chaos by the Doppelganger

What is reality,

but a logical manifestation of chaos?

Logic simplified for our tender sanities,

Framing the lines few dare to cross,

And fewer still dare to ignore.

It is from the womb of chaos,

That complicated minds conceive and birth,

The simple patterns covered over,

By the small comforts,

Human nature provides.

It is a cruel blessing,

And a commonly rare feat,

To be granted the gift of sight,

To see the fine, translucent string of truth,

Openly hidden in the colorful bosom of chaos…

It is within this chaos,

The elixir of wisdom is brewed,

The scales from our eyes are removed

And the gap in which the unknown becomes known

Clarity calls chaos… Mother.

The Doppelganger

Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda

Sometimes I wish I coulda tried,

To do what it was I shoulda done,

Then maybe right now I woulda had,

Everything I believed coulda had.

It sounds cliché because it shoulda been,

The story you woulda seen

On the TV shows you coulda watched,

If you stayed in, doing what you shoulda been.


I have waited for the little twists that woulda come,

On the winding roads that coulda gone,

To every place I shoulda stopped,

And every place I woulda started.

But the words I guess I coulda used,

To get directions to where I shoulda gone,

Were lost on the echoes that woulda repeated it.



All the flats I coulda changed,

Were left by the road I shoulda walked,

Leading to the place I woulda hoped,

Had everything I coulda thought,

would show me what I shoulda seen.

When you think you woulda stopped,

You might wanna think of what coulda happened,

If God did what He shoulda done,

When you failed to do what you woulda done.


Amare Poeta




Oath of office

I, being of sound mind, do hereby solemnly swear to uphold, maintain and further to all honorable intents and purposes, the God-given agenda thus entrusted to me by virtue of my sex.
I shall not for the benefit and or amusement of the unlearned, relegate my talents to only my kitchen, housekeeping and baby making abilities. But branch out into blue, white and other assorted color collar jobs.
I, a feminine and bold woman, duly affirm that I shall not mis-use, mis-appropriate, mis-represent, mis-construe the curves and crevices synonymous with my given sex.
I swear to live by the ingrained laws passed down by my conscience and be careful to live in peace with my fellow men. And thus to be empowered and not forceful, emancipated yet not vulgar, enlightened and definitely not disrespectful.
This I swear is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.

Amare Poeta