I got an ID. Finally! This document that is my constitutional right to do and be heard will rid me of the dictatorial bondage forced upon me by virtue of conception and give me access to every other pub, club and event. I am now grown enough to make my own decisions and nobody can stop me from viewing, hearing, buying and consuming explicit content. I am now a power unto myself with no need for anybody who seeks to undermine my new found freedom with backward conservative notions of what responsibility was 1000 years ago. But first mum has to give me cash for shopping!
2weeks later, I sit alone at home. The parents are off getting money to support my “swag” after all, 65billion a year is no chicken feed. “Bend over bend over bend over gal…” My phone is ringing and for sure, that is plot for the weekend. I turn down the volume of the parliamentary proceedings that I wasn’t concentrating on, which will decide how much money I get if I want to start a business. My friend gives me the plot and tells me he is thinking we should get into business. This automatically admits both of us into the hustlers’ guild. I finally get to add ‘work’ on my profile to “Hustler at Swag Int’l” We will meet up sometime to discuss that. For now I am into the shower and then out.
A noisy caravan passes by, blaring beats of a dance hall track asking me to “bubble”. Then some guy I don’t know from Adam, stops the DJ and asks me to vote for him. He speaks very bad slang unsuccessfully tries to convince me he is as young as I am. He has a beard that looks just like my old dad’s. At some point, I wonder what happened to the music because whereas I know nothing of this man, I know the life stories of all my favorite foreign artistes. He has taken too long and thinking of all the abbreviated expletives i could give him, I leave because I’m late for cosmic bowling, and shopping for new heels. Headphones back on… “Take your take your take your shirt off…”
I got the perfect outfit for shots later with ‘familia’. Yellow sky high platforms, blue booty shorts, no stockings, pink clutch, white Rihanna asymmetrical cut offs and the make up is on point. I log in to twitter to tell the whole world about all the debauchery I shall get myself into come 10pm. There is something about some guy named Zack. It looks like a good Idea so MPesa pap and on to the next one. On Facebook there is a group of people advocating for youth blah blah blah. Like. Moving on swiftly, a few other groups about elections, social responsibility, respecting ladies, making a difference; they all get a like and notifications turned off. A few politicians have pages, I update about how corrupt the all are. I don’t know who wants to be president but I know I won’t vote for a bunch of liars. With my new profile picture I am out for the night.
“I am part of the most influential demographic in the world but that only seems relevant when discussing the QWERTY movement rather than the future. My future, Our future.” Damn! I should tweet that!